


The One With The Tropes

by CrazyBucket



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Cute, Established Relationship, F/F, Flirting, Fluff, TheseTwoIdiots, Tropes4Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 07:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7792963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyBucket/pseuds/CrazyBucket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Series of BlackHill oneshots based on tropes, because I just love them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The One They Share a Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheesssy McCheesus with a side of angst I guess?

The One They Share a Bed

 

If Maria had ever seen a mission go FUBAR it was this one. They were in freaking Siberia, miles from anything resembling civilization and the only place they could find to get warm was a piece of shit hotel in the middle of nowhere. Why someone would even consider building a hotel in such a complete wasteland beat her. Nonetheless, she was happy to find a place where her team and herself could sleep and have a meal that did not involve granola bars.

As soon as they got inside, everyone except for Romanoff ran to the fire place. Maria thought that there was something specially annoying with the spy’s overall demeanor more often than not. The way the woman seemed to know about everything and how no matter the difficulty of the situation the spy would always offer a mischievous grin to just about anyone was frankly exasperating.

After leaving all her gear near her team, she proceeds to the reception to get them all checked in. As destiny would have it, the whole hotel had only ten rooms when they needed eleven. Someone would have to share and she did not like the odds: her team was composed of nine very “no homo” men, Natasha and herself. To avoid having to share she was going to need to pull a rank.

Maria approaches her team and sits on a nearby chair.

“So, they only have ten rooms. Yelchin and Santos, you two will have to share.”

“But commander…” Santos almost immediately tried to argue.

“Are you questioning a superior officer’s order, agent Santos?”

“Not at all sir.” He seats back on the floor. 

“Good.” She gives everyone their keys. “If you need me I’ll be in my room.”

She hears a collective “Yes sir” as she turns.

Maria gets little over twenty minutes of silence until she hears a knock on her door.

“Sir, we have a problem.”

“What is it?”

“Five rooms out of nine don’t have… hum… beds.”

“What? How is that even possible?  
So Maria went to check and to her surprise her teammate was not mistaken. Most rooms didn’t have beds and of the few that had only two had a functioning heater. Two heaters in freaking Siberia.Two. As an emergency measure, she slipt the guys in both rooms, arranging the mattresses on the floor so everyone could sleep somewhat comfortably, leaving only Natasha out.

“Well, since you took my room and gave it to the boys, it is only fair you share yours, don’t you think?” The redhead said.

“Not like I have a choice is it?”

“C’mon Hill, it can’t be that bad.”

But it was. When Natasha entered her room she saw that coincidentally Maria’s room was the only one with a single bed. A single bed they would now have to share.

“Oh great!” Natasha says. “Please tell me you are not a cuddler.”

“You wish, Romanoff.”

Natasha ignores the last comment. “I’m gonna eat. Do you want something?”

“Sure”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Honestly I’ll take anything edible you can find in this place.”

A few moments later Nat comes back with two plates with what seemed to be hamburgers.

“I can not believe you found burgers here.” She takes one plate and looks at it, amazed. 

“I didn’t find them, I made them.” She looks at Maria. “I thought comfort food could take your mind off of this terrible mission.” She smiles. “And the cook is very nice, even managed to get me cheese” - She points at the yellow melted thing on Maria’s plate - “See?”

“That is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“Ok, I’m pretty sure that’s the hunger talking.” Natasha takes a bite of her burger. “Not ideal, but not that bad.”

“It’s freaking perfect” Maria responds with a mouthful.

Later, Maria finds herself still wearing her jacket and under all covers she could find. She didn’t think it was possible before, but it was actually getting colder. She could barely move her arms but she was still shivering. She looked at Natasha, who was sitting in a chair reading a magazine she found in the common area. Typical Natasha, Maria thought to herself, acting like she was above everything, even the weather, again.

“How are you not cold? Are you even human?”

“The jury is still out on that.” The redhead smiles.

“Seriously, how?”

“Do you really wanna know?”

“Yes.”

“Well, in order to build perfect spy the Red Room submitted all of its pupils to every conceivable extraneous situation and harsh weather was one of them. They usually drove us to somewhere there was only snow, which, let me tell you is not particularly hard to find in Russia and we had to get back on our own.I remember one time I almost froze to death, couldn’t feel my fingers. I still ask myself why I never took these opportunities to escape but I can’t really tell ” Maria’s face suddenly fell. “The cold was hard in the beginning but I got used to it I guess. Now it doesn’t bother me much anymore.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was a long time ago.”

Maria felt like the biggest idiot in the world. There she was, judging the other woman like there was no tomorrow and it turned out Natasha had more than enough reason to act the way she did. Taking this story as an example, Maria reminded herself to try her best not to judge the agent so harshly again.

Natasha stood up, took off her jacket and came closer to Maria. “Mind if I join you?” and there was that grin again in Natasha’s face.

“Sure.” Maria scooched over and Nat laid down. 

They didn’t have much space, so after some toss and turn they settled with Maria spooning Natasha, what was awkward enough on its own, but it didn’t last long since Nat felt like overheating with Maria embracing her whilst wearing a huge jacket, so they switched positions leaving Nat as the big spoon. Truth was Natasha had no idea what to do with her hands, because she was not very used to sleep like that with anyone, big or small spoon, so she ends up putting her left hand stiffly on Maria’s head.

“Natasha?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

“Humm… trying to sleep?”

“Ok, come here.” She takes Nat’s hand out of her head and places it gently in her own stomach, holding the other woman’s hand there. “Is this ok?”

“Yeah.”

When the awkwardness dissipates, they manage to relax and eventually to sleep.

The next day Maria is the first one to wake up, feeling more refreshed than she did in a long time. As Maria takes in her surroundings, she finds a redheaded spy laying on top of her, with her head tucked beneath Maria’s chin. To the brunette’s surprise, Natasha was really warm. Not wanting to wake her up, Maria decided to stay mostly still and before she even realized what she was doing she started playing with the spy’s hair.Not long after Natasha began to stir and woke up.Maria froze: she just got caught.

“Good morning” Natasha said.

“Morning”

Natasha jumped out of the bed when she registered on top of what, or better off, on top of whom she was sleeping.

“Hill, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“Nah, it’s ok.” Maria says nonchalantly

“I’m sorry anyway.” Natasha relaxes a little. “And here I thought last night was as awkward as it gets.”

Maria laughs. “Breakfast?”

“Yes please!”  
After this night, Maria never saw natasha with the same eyes again, and she was completely honest with herself she’d agree that’s when she began to fall for Natasha. Years later, Maria still found herself in love with Natasha but with a great twist: patiently the spy let down her walls one by one and now she was able to say she loved Maria back.


	2. The One They Misheard Each Other

The One They Misheard Each Other

 

It is a quiet afternoon at the Stark Tower and Romanoff is very focused on her video game. Maria arrives and starts to speak to her, but she just really doesn’t pay attention. That is until she hears:

“Be mine.” The brunette tells her and apparently waits for an answer.

Suddenly Natasha stops and tries to process what just happened. She was positive she heard Maria say “Be mine” and honestly it was just confusing. Were her co-worker/friend asking her for a date? Now Nat regretted not paying attention before, so she reacted the only way she could.

“Huh?” Natasha finally turns to Maria, not even bothering to pause her video game.

“Did you listen to anything I said?”

“Apparently not, ‘cause it sure sounded a lot like you just asked me out.” Natasha answered, still completely dumbfounded.

“You are infuriating sometimes.” Maria sits down beside her. “What’s so entertaining about these games anyway?” She grabs the case of the game. “And it’s hockey. Are you Canadian or something?”

“It’s about teamwork” the spy faces Maria. “And trust building…. And orientation...towards goals...”

“It’s about smacking people up and down and you know it.”

“Whatever.” She takes the case from the brunette’s hand. “And don’t change the subject. Did you or did you not asked me out?”

“I wouldn’t exactly phrase it that way, but if it works for you.” Maria smiles, Natasha huffs. “I actually asked you if you wanted…” Then Maria saw something in Natasha’s eyes that she hasn’t seen before, something that resembled hope? Expectation maybe? And it dawned to her that maybe, just maybe Nat actually wanted a date with her. Why else would the spy mistake her invitation to be her spotter while she tries some new weights on the bench press for a date? Although if Maria was being honest she only asked Nat to be her spotter so she could maybe impress her, as stupid as it sounds. “If you wanted…”

“Come on Maria, it can’t be that hard.”

And for a brief second, Maria realized that things were turning out way better than she had anticipated. Her slightly-very-small-crush-that-wasn’t-even-there-most-times-except-it-was had basically told her that she was interested. There was absolutely no reason to miss this opportunity.

“If you wanted to have dinner with me, sometime.” For some reason beyond herself despite the assurance she previously found in Natasha’s eyes, she was nervous, after all if she by any means misread the situation things could become extremely complicated.

“That sounds awfully a lot like you are asking me out, Hill.” She gives Maria a mischievous grin and Maria lets out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. “And where would you take me?” 

“Anything you want, just name it.”

“I’ll let you know I’m not a cheap date.”

“I’d never take you for one" She shifts a little closer. “Any preferences?”

“For a restaurant? No not really.” She also gets a bit closer. “Surprise me.”

“I will.” Maria grins. “How’s friday?”

“Sounds great.” 

They are almost close enough to kiss. To avoid rushing things that don’t need to be rushed and also to keep the upper hand, instead of leaning in to a kiss Natasha had her eyes closed for already, Hill gets up. “Friday it is then.”

As the brunette is about to leave, Natasha calls her. “Maria?” 

The taller woman turns. “Yes?” Maria was still carrying a smug expression, quite proud of herself for being able to resist the spy.

“I changed my mind.” Hill raises an eyebrow. “I do have request.”

“I’m listening.”

“I don’t care if you take me to eat a hotdog on a street corner, as long as you are the dessert.” 

Natasha looks directly into Maria’s eyes and is pleased to find them flicker from confident to astounded as soon as she finishes her sentence.

A few seconds pass, Maria smiles and says: “As I said, anything you want.”

The commander leaves very pleased with the turn of events, and somehow the redhead is not at all interested in her video game, grinning to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will write for kudos/comments.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. The One They Accidentally Get Married

The One They Accidentally Get Married

 

Maria was at her office, working as usual. With a knock on her door, her new assistant, Darcy, comes in:

“Yo, Boss.”

“Yes Darcy?”

“Humm… This thing just came in, I think you should take a look at it.”

Maria raises her head. “What is it?”

Darcy hands her the envelope. Maria briefly analyzes it. All the information seems correct and the sender was Beaver Lick Baptist Church, from Las Vegas. Someone was trying to prank her. They could have been a little less obvious in her opinion, but she goes with it. The envelope had a nice cover letter, congratulating the couple (Natasha and herself), on the beautiful ceremony and wishing a fabulous new life together, saying the photo album would soon be sent via mail and attached to the letter there was a marriage certificate. Maria was impressed. Whoever did this really took their time, everything looked very convincing.

“So, what is it?”

“Did you do this?”

“What?” She looks at Maria incredulously. “No.” 

Maria takes her time figuring out if Darcy was telling the truth or not.

“First, no way I would be patient enough to go through all that trouble just to get fired.” She grabs the letter “Second, I googled it and there actually is a Beaver Lick Baptist Church in Vegas.”

“Sorry, not falling for it.” Maria turns back to the report she was reading before the interruption.

“I think it’s cute though.” Darcy sits on Maria’s table. “You and Romanoff make a cute couple.”

“Darcy, I really need to finish this...”

“You two keep ogling each other all the time, finally someone is at least trying to do something about it. And they even synchronized this with your schedule, look!” She points at the date of the certificate. “That week you were actually in Vegas, weren’t you? On that Hydra thingy?!” Darcy pauses a moment to collect her thoughts. “Wasn’t Romanoff also there?”

“It’s not going to work, Darcy.” She looks at her assistant. “There’s no way we got married. I’m pretty sure I’d remember that.”

“You could just call the number I found on Google just to be sure? They even have a website.”

“Darcy I really need to go back to work.”

“Whatever, Boss. I think this calls for an investigation. I think we need Detective Darcylious here.”

“Sure, go ahead. Just do all your ‘investigating’ on your desk.”

“You’ve got it, Boss!”

As Darcy was leaving, Maria calls her:

“Oh, and Detective Darcylious!? That’s just terrible.”

“Actually it’s just Darcylious. I figured if Fergie could do it, why couldn’t I?”

“I’m not even answering that.”

Maria goes back to work and Darcy happily starts her investigation, but every now and then Maria would stop and think about the absurdity of this prank. She couldn’t even ask the spy on a date, let alone marry her. Nonetheless the thought made her smile.

A few days later, after a very boring meeting with the Senate, Maria goes back to her office and finds a FedEx package waiting for her. She opens it and is quite surprised to find her wedding album inside, along with another really convincing cover letter. She opens the album, and after a few pictures that looked really cute but could have been easily photoshopped, she finds one of them kissing, rather passionately. She immediately drops the album to the floor.

“Darcyyyy!!!”

“Yes Boss!”

“How is your investigation going?”

“On your wedding?” Maria cringes upon hearing that. “Funny you asked, I just got back from this friend who happens to be in Vegas right now, and he took a picture of the Beaver Lick Chapel, the priest and the marriage record book, take a look.” She shows her phone to Maria. “That sure looks like your handwriting.”

“Fuck.” Maria starts pacing around her office. “Fuck.”

Darcy sees the album on the floor. 

“Oh my God!!! Is that your wedding pics? I can’t, I just can’t! I mean look at this! Look at how cute you two are! Oh my God, there’s even a pic of you feeding cake to each other! This is just adorbs!!!!” She gets to the end of the album. “Ok, this is just too awesome… your wedding vows are actually here! Do you want me to read it to you?”

“No, Darcy, I do not want that.”

“Too bad. It is beyond cute… hey, how come I wasn’t invited to your wedding? I thought we were bros!”

“Seriously? Darcy? Seriously? A few minutes ago not even I knew I was freaking married.”

“Still, it hurts. Just so you know.”

“Would you please get Romanoff here?”

“Ahhh… feeling like some sexy times with the old lady?” Maria glares at her. “Ok, Ok, I’m going… you sure got grumpy after you tied the knot… one would think marrying a hottie would have the opposite effect...”

Darcy leaves and Maria keeps looking at the pictures and the certificate. There was no way this was phony. She was married. She was married to Romanoff. Romanoff who also happened to be her crush for quite some time now. Was it really crazy that she just wanted to get this over with so she could maybe get a date with her ex-wife? Was she that drunk that day? She remembered drinking some funny stuff at the Casino after their mission but can booze do that much to someone?

“You rang?” Romanoff asked, getting in.

“Close the door.” Natasha does so.

“Doors closed? Seems serious. Any international incident for me to fix?”

“We need a divorce.” Maria just blurts out.

“What?”

“A divorce. We need one.”

“I know what divorce means, Hill, I just don’t get how…” Maria handles her the certificate. “What kind of a joke is this? Is Darcy on this?”

“Nope.”

“Clint?”

“Nope.”

“Fury?”

“I don’t think so, no.”

Maria motions to Natasha to sit down on the couch, as she sits opposite.

“Remember that mission in Vegas a few weeks ago? The one that everything happened more or less as we hoped, and we went to the Casino with the boys?” Natasha nods. “Remember how we woke up in the same bed the other day, in a completely different hotel, with two very suspicious golden rings on the nightstand but we just shrugged it off? And how the guys were looking for us like crazy?” Another nod. “Well apparently we managed to get so hammered we decided it would be a good idea to ...”

“Please tell me I didn’t marry you.” Natasha lets out a sigh. “Not you.” She looks at Maria “Please tell me I didn’t you.”

“Why marrying me, specifically, bothers you so much? What’s wrong with me?” 

“Clint will never let me live out of this one.” Natasha says, apparently not even listening to what Maria just asked. “We need to do something about this… like right away.”

“In case you didn’t notice, that’s why I called you here, agent.” Maria’s tone of voice had drastically changed, becoming cold all of a sudden. Maria understood that being married to a co-worker was less than perfect, but Natasha seemed to be more worried it was Maria she got married to than the whole situation, and honestly this got to Maria.

“Great. How do we do this?”

“I’ll call my lawyer and see what we need to get an annulment.”

“Ok.” Natasha gets up and looks inside the FedEx box. “Is that a wedding album?”

“Yes.”

Natasha starts to looks at the pictures. “We sure look happy.”

“I guess.”

“Oh my God. We kissed?”

“Apparently.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Don’t worry Romanoff, it won’t happen again.”

“Wow, ok.” Natasha looks a bit offended.

“What? You are the one who is losing her shit because you married me of all people. Sorry you didn’t get someone better.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Isn’t obvious? You pretty much rather have done this to anyone else. Clint maybe? Maybe Bruce would Bruce be the ideal candidate?”

Natasha had to take a moment to let that sink in. Was Maria jealous? What the Hell was going on?

“Wait. You think I reacted like that because the idea of us being together repulses me?”

“Isn’t that pretty much what you said?”

“Maria, no. Fuck, no. I just panicked because out of all the people in the world I married the one I actually have feelings for, as silly and adolescent as that sounds.” She gets closer to Maria. “And if it had happened with anyone else I could probably just laugh it off… but not with you.”

“You… like me?” Maria was quite astounded with the turn of events.

“How could I not?” Natasha lays a finger on Maria’s jaw.

Maria gives Natasha a shy smile.

“So, after we get this annulment thing, do you want to go out sometime?”

“I’d really like that.”

“Great.”

As they are getting close to each other, just about to kiss, Darcy blasts the door open.

“Boss, did you…” She sees them in a rather compromising position. “Oh that’s so cute. Pretend I’m not even here… wait I’m gonna get my camera.” 

They back away from each other.

“I’d better be going.” Natasha says and Maria nods. “Call me if you need anything.”

Natasha turns and Maria is convinced their ‘moment’ was over. As she was putting everything back in the box Natasha comes in again, grabs her face and kisses her. It was a chaste kiss, basically a peck and Natasha soon released her. Maybe too soon.

“I just wanted to do that for a long time.”

Maria smiles.

“Well, I’ll be here if you have one of these urges again.”

“Good.” Natasha grins and goes away.

In the end, Beaver Lick Church really brought the couple together, just in a different way than expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there actually is a Beaver Lick Church. Take a look: https://www.google.com.br/search?q=beaver+lick+chapel&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj47a6rhszOAhVGWpAKHeNPA4cQ_AUICCgB&biw=1920&bih=947#tbm=isch&q=beaver+lick+church
> 
> They even have a Facebook page haha


	4. The One With The Wine

The One With The Wine

 

This was not supposed to go this way. She had been invited by Pepper to join her, Natasha, Sharon and Darcy for a girls night in. It was meant to be casual, just a friendly gathering really, with tons of wine and bitching about boyfriends (at least to those who had one, meaning Sharon and Pepper). But as Darcy was over excitedly telling a story about this guy she met she accidentally hit Natasha with the hand she was holding her glass of wine, spilling wine all over the spy’s breasts. Those unbelievably perfect probably very perky breasts. Although Natasha tried her best to clean herself up she had missed a drop, and the said drop was finding its way into the valley of her breasts. It was absurdly distracting to Maria, who was frozen in place, watching that droplet make its way to where her mouth wanted to be.

“Maria?” Pepper asks. “Are you ok?”

When she hears her name Maria gets out of her trance and looks around. It seemed nobody noticed her ogling. 

“Yes, yes, I’m fine.”

“More wine?”

“Sure.”

“So, tell me Nat… you and Bruce… is that serious?” Sharon questioned.

“What? No….”

“Are you sure? You two seemed pretty chummy at the Tower the other day.” Darcy adds.

“It’s nothing really”

“Come on Nat. Spill it out.” Says Sharon.

“It’s a safe place, dude”

“There’s nothing to tell really.”

“Not convinced.” Pepper interrupts. “And you two make a nice couple. He is so awkward and you are so confident. It’s a nice balance.”

“Agreed” Voices Sharon. “Want to go to a double date with Steve and I?”

“I’ll pass, but thanks!”

“Or maybe with me and Tony? Although I think they would start to talk science the whole time and we’d end up just talking to each other.”

Maria just listens. In her opinion Nat and Bruce go as well together as hunger and diarrhea, but maybe she was biased.

“Guys, I’m telling you there’s nothing there.”

“Still not convinced.”

“Ok, how can I put this…. Bruce and I are friends, really good friends. In the beginning I actually believed there was something more there…”

“I knew it” Goes Sharon.

“But…”

“Ohh there’s a but” Darcy says excitedly, paying close attention to Nat.

“But I found out that what he’s selling, I ain’t buying, you feel me?”

“What?” Maria lets out.

“You’re gay?” Pepper asks.

“I like to think I go with the flow, but recently this flow has been consistently point to Venus instead of Mars.”

“That is like, so hot.” Darcy sounds on cloud nine. “So, what kind of chicks you dig? Awesome sense of humor, very attractive and who also happens to be single, say like… me?”

Natasha laughs. 

“Actually this is great news. I have a bunch of friends to introduce to you!” Sharon says. “And don’t worry I’ll do a screening and only send the best ones your way.” She winks.

“How about Anna from accounting? She’s pretty.” Pepper asks.

“I don’t see how I’m not an option…” Darcy mocks offense but they all know she’s just playing.

“What about you, Maria? Anyone you would like to introduce me to?” Natasha asks, finishing the question with an overconfident smirk.

Maria initially thought she could just lay low on this whole conversation, and maybe try some approach in a more private setting, but of course Natasha wouldn’t let that happen. Maybe it was the wine giving her courage, but she took a breath and decided to go all in.

“Yes, actually.” All four of them were looking at her now. “Me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one! yay!


	5. The One Their Tongues Battle for Dominance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trope tropety trope 
> 
> The tittle says it all :)

The One Their Tongues Battle for Dominance

 

It was a typical saturday afternoon. They were both sitting on the couch, Natasha was playing with the little hairs on the back of Maria’s head and watching TV and Maria was reading reports because she just was a huge workaholic:

“Fucking idiots. This doesn’t even make sense.”

Natasha looked at Maria, but the ramble continued:

“Is this even English?” She grabs another page. “SHIELD has really low standards nowadays, I’ll tell you.”

Natasha turns her attention to Maria, who keeps complaining and mumbling to herself:

“That’s not even grammatically correct.”

Foreseeing an impending meltdown, Nat decides to act. She gets up and starts to slowly massage the other woman’s shoulders.

“Babe, I think you need a break.”

“I wish. I can’t afford a break with all this dumbnuts working for me.”

“Dumbnuts?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok, you really need a break… I’ll be right back.”

Nat goes to the kitchen, coming back with two shot glasses and a bottle of vodka.

“I know what you are going to say about this, but just give it a try. This vodka is terrific.”

“Day drinking, Romanoff? Really?”

“It’s like what they say, it’s always night time somewhere, or something like that. Come on. Don’t be a chicken.”

Maria briefly weighs her options.

“Yeah, why not? Maybe if I reading these things drunk, people will sound slightly smarter” She takes a full glass and drinks it in one gulp.

A few glasses later Maria is laughing hysterically at Natasha, who was doing a Nick Fury impression. In reality, the impression was terrible, but the vodka was showing some results. When Maria eventually stops laughing, an idea comes to her mind:

“You know what we should do?” Maria asks. Her voice is slurred and she gives Natasha a look as if she were scheming something not necessarily legal.

“No, what?” The redhead drops her head to the left, suddenly curious.

“We should make out”

“Well, Commander Hill, there is a reason why” - She hiccups .- “you are the strategist in this relationship. You always come up with the” - Another hiccup. - “best ideas.” Natasha says somewhat flirtatiously, already approaching the brunette.

“Oh, what can I say? I’m just crazy smart”

“I think” Nat hiccups again. “You are pretty sexy too”

After almost falling face first on the floor the spy gets to Maria, sits on her lap and starts to kiss her neck as Maria buries her hands on Nat’s hair. When the hiccups eventually subside, Natasha starts to kiss her girlfriend’s lips. She starts with a few pecks and small bites and slowly sucks the other woman’s bottom lip. Maria pulls her in, effectively pushing her own tongue inside the redhead’s mouth. It was probably the sloppiest kiss they ever shared, with their tongues battling for dominance as they go at it at different speeds. Neither of them knew exactly which tongue was who’s and their hands were everywhere. Natasha had one hand caressing Maria’s right knee, whilst Maria tried to initiate some friction with her left thigh, but the position was all wrong so she was basically griding on Natasha’s inner left thigh, pretty far from the intended goal. It was a mess.

But that didn’t slow them down and they kept awkwardly making out, even managing to fall down as they tried to change position. Some moments later Natasha was trailing kisses down Maria’s stomach, but all of a sudden the kisses get farther and farther apart, followed by the spy somehow falling asleep on top of the brunette, who was already slightly snoring.

They woke up a few hours later, laughed at each other and proceeded to the kitchen to have a snack and subsequently kitchen countertop sex, but there was nothing sloppy or awkward this time.


	6. The One With No Strings Attached

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I never know what to write here since the titles always sum things up pretty well, so I shall sing a song by NSYNC, since their No Strings Attached album is pretty great:
> 
> Every little thing I do  
> Never seems enough for you  
> You don't wanna lose it again  
> But I'm not like them  
> Baby, when you finally  
> Get to love somebody (somebody)  
> Guess what (guess what)  
> It's gonna be me
> 
> [Lance:] It's gonna be me  
> [Justin:] Oh yeah...
> 
> [Justin:]  
> There comes a day  
> When I'll be the one, you'll see..  
> It's gonna-gonna-gonna-gonna-gonna
> 
> [Justin:] It's gonna be maaaaayyyyy

The One With No Strings Attached

Maria and Natasha had a relationship that was hard to explain. Maybe relationship was a too strong of a word, they had an agreement: More than often they slept together, but there was nothing more to it. Neither of them had a habit of staying for breakfast so everything was pretty straightforward. The thought of having someone available without all duties of an actual relationship was somewhat refreshing for two people with less than ideal pasts. This arrangement started a few months ago, when during a late night sparring match Natasha pinned Maria down (for the 100th time, as Maria recalls) and they had what can only be described as a “moment”. They stared at each other a few seconds too long and both leaned in halfway and started to make out, what lead to Natasha’s apartment and a whole lot of moaning.

The arrangement fit their needs, even becoming an inside joke; when one of them wanted to make use of it, she would just approach the other and ask if she wanted to “grab a few drinks”. There were no drinks involved, of course, but they grinned whenever someone else made this apparently innocent invitation.

As per usual, they were absolutely not exclusive and that was fine, but something about seeing how the new accountant behaved herself around Natasha just threw Maria off. Her name was Ashley, and whenever Maria thought of her she would pronounce her name in a childish voice inside her head. To Maria, the girl was just annoying and she couldn’t grasp why Natasha would give her so much attention, and the girl was an accountant for Christ’s sake. Being boring was like a professional requirement, wasn’t it?

To make matters worse, Maria just had a meeting with said Ashley, who babbled some accountant nonsense for three hours. Three freaking hours. When the meeting was over, everyone started to exit the room, enabling Maria to see Ashley intercepting Natasha in the hallway, and starting to chat. As Maria gets up, thinking her torture was over and how this was the perfect opportunity to talk to Nat about something that in reality was not important at all, or maybe even drag the redhead to a bathroom and just do it , Coulson calls her and they spent another forty minutes talking about spreadsheets. After all this, Maria wasn’t sure how she was still alive.

As of this moment, she was power walking trying to reach her office at the Triskelion, wondering how Fury was able to push all the boring agenda to her side so effectively. Reaching her office, she finds Natasha waiting for her, more specifically sitting on her chair, feet on her desk.The woman had definitely made herself at home.

“Morning Hill”

“Morning.” Maria closes the door. “So, to what do I owe this visit? I thought you were hanging out with Ashley.”

“Are you jealous now, Assistant Director?”. Sultry voice mode on.

Somehow Natasha made Maria feel uneasy in her own office. The redhead could control a room like no other.

“No, but you two have been hanging around a lot, that’s all.”

“Well, she’s very nice and I’m a very likeable person”

“I see.” The brunette points at her chair. “Mind if I sit?”

“On my lap? Not at all.”

Maria raises her left eyebrow. Natasha goes back and forth on the chair, making those annoying squeaky noises, whilst looking at Maria. After a brief staring contest, the spy gets up and Maria sits.

“So, if I got this right, you just decided to come here to annoy me?”

“Are you telling me to leave?”

“No, it’s just odd.”

“What? Me being annoying?”

“No, I’ve seen you annoying plenty of people, I’m just not usually on the receiving end.”

“Something happened.”

“What?”

“Ashley asked me out.”

Maria was screaming internally. Of course Ashley asked her out, why would she not? Natasha was single, she could date whoever she wanted. Or maybe it was the other way around? Maybe Natasha wanted to actually be with Ashley and was there to terminate their “arrangement”?. Concealing everything that was rushing in her head with an ice cold look, Maria answered. “Is that so?” Natasha nodded. “And why are you here then? Looking for dating advice?”

Natasha gave her a defying look. “Not really. I do quite well when it comes to dating, as you probably can tell”

“I bet you score high points on humility.”

“No complaints so far.”

Feeling that Natasha wasn’t going to give up information easily and at the same time dreading the possibility of Natasha wanting to end things, Maria tries to lighten the mood. “So what’s the problem? You are not into women?”

Natasha laughs.

“No, as you are well aware, I’m pretty comfortable either way.”

If only Maria had realized this earlier, maybe they wouldn’t be in this situation right now, she thinks to herself.

“You don’t find her attractive then?”

“No, quite the opposite really.” The spy says nonchalantly.

Maria suddenly wishes to punch a wall.

“Are you wondering about SHIELD’s policy on dating coworkers?”

“Do you honestly believe I would worry about that?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you’re right.” She takes a look around. “But I’m running out of ideas here, Romanoff, tell me what the problem is.”

They stay in silence for a few moments, until Natasha sums up the courage to speak.

“You see, I always figured if I ever went to the trouble of dating someone, it had to be someone incredible, otherwise why waste my time you know?”

“How romantic.” Maria’s voice is a mix between sarcasm and disbelief.

“Yeah, I know” Natasha pretends not to have noticed the brunette's tone. 

Looking at the very interesting pen she was holding and pretending this was no big deal, Maria asks: “So, is she incredible?”

“She may be, I don’t know.” She approaches Maria, leaning on the table and grabbing her chin, so that they were looking at each other. “But she’s not you.”

“What?”

The redhead drops her hand and sits on the table. “You see, when she asked me out, the only thing I could think about was how the hell we’ve never been on a date before.” She stops and focuses on Maria. “And I want to fix that.”

“You do?”

“Yes.” She waits a few seconds to proceed. “So what do you say Hill? Would you like to go on a date with me?”

“You mean if I want to grab a few drinks?” She asks with a raised eyebrow.

“No, Ria. I mean a real date”

“A real date?”

“Yes, a real date. With dinner, walking holding hands, doorstep kiss, all that.”

“Doorstep kiss?”

“If I’m lucky of course.”

Both of them smile. After all the one night stands, the idea of a doorstep kiss sounded equally silly and unbearably intimate.

“Sounds good.”

“Great. Friday?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll call you.”

“Okay.”

Natasha gets up and turns to leave. Just as she was about to reach the door handle Maria gently grabs her arm, making the shorter woman face her.

“About that doorstep kiss, do you think we could anticipate it?”

Natasha smiles and leans in to kiss her. It was one of those slow loving kisses, very different from the kisses they shared before. As they part, Natasha smiles, looks around and frowns. 

“I think we have a problem.”

Although remaining with a calm exterior, Maria’s brain goes into overdrive. “What’s that?” 

Natasha looks around again, making Maria even more nervous. “I don’t think this kiss qualifies, there are no steps here.”

Maria finally lets out a breath. Sometimes she forgot how good at pretending the spy was. Now that she knew what the game was, she decided to join. “Well, there’s a door, it counts for something, no?”

“No, I don’t think so. I guess we’ll have to do this again” She says faking disappointment.

“Damn it.” The brunette says, not even trying to hide her smile.

“Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

Natasha looks so cute playing coy that Maria doesn’t resist and kisses her again. It feels like being a teenager, being so excited about kissing someone, but both loved it. It was a journey of rediscovering each other, and they were more than willing to take their time.

And just like that Ashley became irrelevant to Maria, who had just found herself a girlfriend to go on “real” dates with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for the record, I have absolutely nothing against accountants. I mean I'm a lawyer, not exactly the most envied profession ever haha.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!


	7. The One They Say I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short but cute I guess? :)

The One They Say I Love You

 

Ever since Maria learned what the Red Room was like and how this institution striped Natasha from a “normal” upbringing, and how that meant that Nat had never experienced the most mundane things as a child and as a teenager - such as building a snowman, go bowling or taking pictures at photo booths - Maria promised to herself that she would take her girlfriend to all those places and make her experience everything she missed because of those monsters.

So far she managed to take Nat on an Arcade date - in which Nat completely lost it and played every single game she could put her hands on; they had a lovely picnic at Meridian Hill Park, which was very romantic; they went to a movie date - this was their second date and the day Maria was sure she found the one; to a karaoke, where they just embarrassed themselves; mini golfing - this one almost ended badly, as Natasha almost smashed the place being a very sore loser; and ice skating, a sport Natasha easily adapted to, quickly learning some tricks and spins, leaving Maria speechless.

The next date Maria planned involved spending a weekend at a lake house and she chose Adirondack Lakes Region as their spot. It was perfect because they could go kayaking, mountain climbing, fishing and all kinds of outdoor activities and still have a nice place to come back to.

When they got to the house, Maria was overjoyed to see how excited Natasha was. The spy had a permanent smile on her face, looking and exploring everything she saw. Maria had definitely surpassed the expectations with this one. 

After unpacking they decide to go kayaking - it is something both of them did before, but this was the first time they were doing it for enjoyment purposes only. They go in separate kayaks, and after some sightseeing Natasha makes it her mission to chase Maria, who responded by officially declaring war and chasing the redhead too. A couple of hours later and after three falls each into the lake they call it quits and go back to the house, starving.

This wasn’t the first time they cooked together, but it was an occurrence that Maria greatly appreciated; she usually chopped things and watched Natasha do her thing whilst sipping wine but it felt so intimate and domestic to Maria she could only imagine how amazing it would be when they moved in together or got married. This was such a foreign notion to the commander; never before she met someone who made her wish to tie the knot and Maria was very surprised when she first caught herself thinking about it. Marriage seemed such an old and meaningless institution before, but now the possibility of calling Natasha her wife made her swoon. She knew it was too soon to start making plans - they had only been dating for six months - but there was no harm in picturing it.

The menu du jour involved Thai fresh rolls, garlic shrimp and a delicious mango mantini Maria was single handedly consuming. Everything was perfect and later on they wanted to go hiking, that is, until it started to rain.

And it was not some light rain. It was early afternoon and yet the sky was completely dark, except for the eventual lighting. There was no way they could leave the house to go to their car, let alone go hiking. To make things even better, the lights went out and they are left in the dark.

So they improvise. They light up the fireplace, lay in front of it snuggling each other and Maria reads out loud the book she brought - Alice Munro, Lives of Girls and Women. Honestly Natasha was paying much more attention to Maria than what she was reading, although the book sounded good enough.

Nat was having a very pleasant time watching Maria’s lips change shape as she pronounced the words, then she shifted her focus to the brunette’s face, and how concentrated she looked. Sometimes as she was turning the page she would look at Natasha and smile, and without even thinking Natasha’s body reacted and smiled back. The sound of the rain somehow makes things even more comfortable

As Maria was reading something about a guy and turtle soup, Natasha, who was still staring at her, mesmerized by her presence, quietly slips out:

“I love you.”

Maria stops reading and tries to process what just happened. It was so low Maria was starting to believe it was merely wishful thinking, but the spy wasn’t feeling like letting her girlfriend doubt whether she said it or not, so she says it again, louder this time:

“I love you, Maria.”

The reassurance made Maria smile. She plays with a strand of Natasha’s hair and replies:

“I love you too, Nat.”

And it was Natasha’s turn to smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been considering taking prompts. Thoughts?


	8. The One Maria Has a Twin

The One Maria Has a Twin

 

Natasha had never been so sexually confused before. She was in a briefing on how they would stop today’s villain when her girlfriend multiplied. Well, no exactly. In this mission, they would join forces with the US Military to contain the new lunatic who wants to build weapons of mass destruction, and when they got to that part Maria invited Major Turner in. To put it simply, Major Susan Turner was Maria’s clone.

Upon her entrance, everyone gasped, due to the obvious resemblance. Actually resemblance didn’t do them justice. It was almost like they were the same person. Could Maria have a clone? 

But instead of dwelling on practical although slightly far fetched topics like that Natasha’s brain decided to imagine spicier things.Of course Natasha wasn’t daydreaming about having sex with the Major she just met, but considering she looked just like Maria she couldn’t help but picture what would be like to have sex with two Marias: If she had to work hard to keep up with one, could she even imagine what two would do to her? The thought was slowly driving her insane and she knew by the looks she was getting that Maria was aware something was amiss.

The redhead did everything she could think of to stop thinking about it. She tried to look at innocent parts of Maria’s body, but apparently every single inch of the woman was sexy and remembering everything those hands and that mouth could do did her no favors. In an effort to pay attention to the meeting, she tried focusing on Susan’s mannerisms, which were quite different from Maria’s and not nearly as attractive, but it only reminded her of how Maria would act and it turned her on even more. It was by far the most uncomfortable briefing she ever had, counting the time she was tortured whilst been briefed.

Needles to say Natasha knew absolutely nothing about the mission. The only reason she knew she was involved was because she was at this briefing. She definitely had work to catch up to, but her brain just wasn’t collaborating. She felt like a horny teenager. Her mouth was salivating, she was constantly shifting in her seat but luckily Maria was the only one who noticed (after all the was a super spy).

When they called it a wrap Natasha couldn’t be more relieved. She was cold sweating for the better part of the last hour and she really needed some air. As she was leaving the room, Maria calls her. After the fifth call Natasha realizes it’s her name and turns. They wait everybody leave before speaking.

“You must have a lot of questions.” Maria grabs Nat by the waist. “So, ask.”

But Maria’s closeness was too much to bare. Giving how horny Natasha was at this point and wanting to keep some restraint she steps out of Maria’s embrace. Maria is taken aback by this gesture, but her face remains neutral. The brunette was right, Natasha did have a lot of questions such as what the hell is this mission about, how would Maria feel about getting it on on the nearest supply closet and whether Maria had a clone. Her mind was going a million miles per hour and focusing was rather hard, so the redhead goes for the most intriguing question:

“Why do you have a clone?” The images of two Marias are still fresh in her mind, so the question sounds rushed.

“I don’t have a clone.”

“You sure could have fooled me.”

“She’s not my clone, she’s my sister.”

Natasha raises her eyebrow. “A sister that in two years of relationship you forgot to mention?”

“It’s not like that. She was raised by my aunt in Austin. We had close to nonexistent contact growing up, which is funny considering we basically opted for the same profession”

“You forgot to tell me about your twin?”

“I’m sorry babe, I really am. As I said, we are not exactly close and I was surprised she was the one they send. We were negotiating with someone else, but she got replaced at the very last minute.”

“Any more family I should know about? Are you triplets?”

“Actually yes, the third one of us is a journalist in Tokyo.”

“Are you serious?”

“No, Nat, I was joking. It’s just Susan and I, that I know of at least.” She brushes her hand on the spy’s arm, trying to comfort her but at the same time trying not to smother her. “So, tell me.”

“Tell you what? About secret relatives?”

“Don’t be silly. I mean about earlier. You were all fidgety during briefing. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, peachy.”

“Peachy? No I know something is wrong Nat.” Her head falls to the side, trying to find Natasha’s eyes. “C’mon, you know you can trust me. What was going on ?”

“Nothing, everything is fine.”

“Ok, if you don’t want to tell me it’s your choice, but I’ll let you know I know it was something sexual.”

“How do you…?”

“Well, you see, previous experiences tell me that it turns you on when I’m leading something or just being badass, but today it was off the charts. And I’d love to know what it was, so I can make your wishes come true.” Maria tries to approach Nat, to no avail.

“That’s very thoughtful of you, babe, but I don’t think you can make this one come true.”

“Pitty, I love a challenge.” She tries to get closer to her girlfriend once again, and Natasha gets away. The spy’s uncharacteristic behavior makes Maria jump to the most obvious conclusion. “Wait, you were thinking about her? About Susan? This whole time? And I was here thinking it was me?” 

“What? No.” Now it’s Nat who tries to reach Maria, who deviates.

“Is this a patent thing?”

“What? Maria listen..”

“Because she’s a major and I’m just a commander? Is she more confident is that it?”

“Just a commander? Are you hearing yourself?” Natasha starts to consider if she’s having a stroke. All this talk seemed beyond nonsensical to her and the fact she was all hot and bothered didn’t help.

“What is it then? Is it the slight accent when she’s not paying attention?”

“Maria, stop!” She grasps the other woman’s shoulder. “For Thor’s sake I wasn’t thinking about her. It was about you." The spy turns her gaze. "It was too much about you actually.”

“How so?” Asks Maria, searching for Nat's eyes. She was really curious now.

 

“It’s kind of embarrassing… there was…" In those microseconds of silence Maria was screaming internally. What could be so bad that got her girlfriend like this? "two..." Rabbits? Fresh Scones? - Maria's mind was coming up with the most strange scenarios. "of you…”

Maria finally exhales. “That’s it?” 

“I mean, both of you were doing all kinds of things, but that was it.” Natasha was relieved the truth was out, but still self-conscious.

Maria grins. “So, you are telling me the fantasy that got you this bothered is about having more of me?”

“I guess.” the spy answers, avoiding Maria’s gaze.

Maria opens a huge smile.

“You can’t get enough of me, can you?”

Seeing her girlfriend’s face, Nat relaxes. “No, apparently the more the merrier.” Maria pulls her in and Natasha sets her hands on her girlfriend’s face, caressing lightly, almost in awe that they are finally close.

“Well, tonight I will show you how one of me is all that you need” Maria whispers into Natasha’s ear.

“I look forward to it.” Suddenly Natasha’s body realizes how close she finally is to Maria. The spy lets out a moan and starts to kiss Maria’s neck, her hands caressing the brunette’s back. “You are so fucking hot.”

Maria grins.“Oh, and for the record, I don’t think you could handle two of me, babe.”

Natasha doesn’t stop her ministrations, but manages to answer between kisses. “Me neither.”

“So, I still have thirty minutes before my next meeting. Wanna swing by my office so we could give this little gathering a happy ending?” The brunette raises a suggestive eyebrow.

Natasha doesn’t even answer, she just pulls Maria down the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, any of you had seen the Jack Reacher trailer?
> 
> I couldn't help it, sorry. Cobie is so Butchy Mcfabulous in that movie I just couldn't...


	9. The One They Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again! :) A bit emotional this one. Brace yourselves haha.

The One They Talk

 

Maria and Natasha had been dating for a few months and Maria for once could honestly say she was happy. Natasha was an amazing company, always.

 

But there was one thing that worried her: the way the spy behaved, always in a good mood, always trying her best to make things interesting, always smiling sometimes threw Maria off. The brunette realized that complaining her girlfriend was too awesome was beyond ridiculous, but she didn’t want Nat to feel like she needed to be perfect every single second. She was scared that Nat thought she needed to be always likeable in order to have Maria, somewhat like she would approach a target.

 

And today was no different. Even after a gruesome mission, with over half of the agents dead Natasha was at Maria’s, cooking, as if nothing had happened. Maria knew that he redhead must have taken this last mission pretty hard since she was the one who dragged most bodies out of the rumbles.

 

Approaching the subject was rather difficult, but when the guy on the news talked about the incident she could see Nat felt uneasy. Just being able to detect that on the master spy meant that Nat was comfortable enough to relax around Maria, only if a little bit. Seeing an opportunity, Maria sat beside Nat and hugged her. It was one of those tight hugs that conveyed a message stronger than the act itself.

 

Natasha was a bit surprised but joined in. As they released each other, Maria held Natasha’s head with both hands, forcing her to look directly into her eyes.

 

“You know, Nat, I love you. I really do.” Her thumbs caress the other woman’s cheeks. “And I think it is amazing how you manage to do everything you do and at the end of the day have this amazing smile on your face, making plans and always looking stunning, which I’m sure it’s like second nature to you.” The spy smiles. “But I need you to believe it when I tell you I want all of you.”

 

Natasha looks at her, confused.

 

“What i mean is… I want the parts that you’ve tried to throw away, the parts others told you no one could love. I want you all of you. With all your faults and mood swings and endless discussions about whether or not we should change the curtains. Because I love you, no matter what. And I want you to know that.”

 

Natasha stays still, processing everything she just heard and Maria takes the opportunity to keep on going:

 

“Look, I know you spent most of your life certain that some of the things you did made you a monster, but I want you to know that’s very far from the truth. And whatever it is you did or however you may feel, I’ll be always waiting for you with open arms. Because all these things make you who you are, and I absolutely love who you are, Natasha. You don’t need to be perfect to win my affection, because it is already yours. Ok?”

 

Natasha is still speechless, but manages to let out an “Okay.”

 

“Do you want to tell me about you day?”

 

Natasha hesitates. Old habits die hard after all. She anxiously looks around and after a few moments she starts to speak.

 

“It..” She clears her throat. “It wasn’t very good.” She looks at Maria with tears in her eyes and the brunette immediately hugs her. The redhead starts to cry on her shoulder, finally allowing herself to feel what she up to that point only rationalized.

 

It took Natasha more or less twenty minutes to calm down and oddly enough she felt like a huge burden had been taken off of her, even though she didn’t say a word of what happened. She looked at Maria, who seemed concerned but had a calm expression.  
“Thank you.” The redhead said.

 

“Anytime.” Natasha lays her head on Maria's shoulder.

 

“I know this may sound weird, but I’m craving chocolate right now.” They laugh.

 

“Good thing we have some, then.” Maria gets up and goes to the kitchen and brings the aforementioned candy with her.

 

“Could you be anymore perfect?”

 

“You only say that because I’m holding the chocolate.” Maria jokes, fully aware that her girlfriend wasn’t actually playing and that she was far from perfect, but knowing Natasha had such opinion felt nice.

 

She handles Natasha the chocolate.

 

“By the way, I need to make a correction.”

 

“Huh?” The spy says, with a huge piece of chocolate in her mouth.

 

“I need to make a correction about what I said earlier.”

 

Natasha frowns, feeling uneasy all of a sudden.

 

“I meant what I said about waiting for you with open arms, I really do. But I swear to God, Natasha, if you ever cheat on me I will glue your elbow to your forehead.”

 

Natasha laughs and Maria gives her a smile.

 

“Noted.”

 

And they spend the rest of the night chilling on each other’s arms. Maria knows it will take time until Natasha can actually open up to her, but she is in no hurry. She has already found the one and she knows they will get there, and today was a stepping stone.


	10. The one with the Ex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My ex very loudly informed the whole bar I would never find anyone who would be willing to marry me and now I’m married to a very attractive person I don’t know.” AU

After a quite stressful day, Maria decided to go to the bar near her place to relax a bit - she was a regular there, the food was good and she wasn’t really feeling like getting hammered at home, so bar it was.

The brunette was having a casual conversation with the bartender (“Billy”), who sort of became a friend of hers. She delighted herself hearing all his stories about the guys he dated and he was an overall pleasant person.

Just as she was learning about Billy’s latest conquest, who happened to be a very conservative politician, a woman catches her eye. She was a stunning redhead, who ever so subtle was also eyeing Maria. As the commander was building up the courage to go talk to her - something about the woman was so enticing and at the same time so mysterious - that that who should not be named also known as her ex-wife sat by her side on the bar.

Her ex, Emma, was a hazel eyed blonde, slightly shorter than Maria, and although it pained Maria to admit this nowadays, pretty attractive. She was a financial advisor, who, to the brunette's knowledge, slept with every single being that was capable of movement (and hopefully consent).

“Fancy seeing you here, Maria”

The woman hasn’t spoken to her since the divorce, almost a year ago. Sensing some sort of approaching storm, Maria tried to cut the conversation short:

“Can I help you with something, Emma?”

The blonde gets closer, touching Maria’s arm rather flirtatiously .

“I don’t know, can you?”

Maria backs away, repulsing the idea of ever sharing anything with that woman ever.

“Wow, you must really be running out of options to consider me” She lets her shoulders relax. “Did everybody in Manhattan died?”

The blonde scoffs.

“What are you talking about. We were great together.”

This one takes Maria even more by surprise than the previous try at seducing her.

“You must be mistaking me for another woman then. We were terrible as I recall.”

“I had fun.”

Every time they talked Maria was more sure that the woman was some sort of psychopath, amazed by her own inability to see the signs. Although she did her best not to show it, Emma had broken her completely, and yet acted as if it was just a fling, not a goddamn marriage.

“I bet you did. Especially with all the other people you were hooking up with.”

“Monogamy is overrated anyway.”

“Yeah, you should probably let your next wife know your feelings towards monogamy before marrying her.”

“You are always so dramatic. Jesus. And it’s not like you’ll ever find another woman like me.”

Now Maria is the one who scoffs. 

“That’s the idea, Emma, hence the divorce.”

“You think you’re better than me, don’t you?”

Emma was visibly irritated, it seemed as if the brunette had hit a nerve.

“Look, I had a pretty shitty day and I really, really don’t feel like discussing our terrible marriage right now, so if you’ll excuse me, I was having a conversation with Billy over there.”

“You know what? You can play this part as long as you like, but deep down you know, YOU WILL NEVER FIND ANOTHER WOMAN WHO WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO MARRY YOU, MARIA. YOU WILL BE ALONE, JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.”

She knew Emma was aware that involving her mother - the one she barely met and always dreamed of knowing - was an exceptionally low blow. But she wasn’t about to give her ex the satisfaction of a reaction. As Maria was getting ready to get up and leave when she felt a hand around her waist. She turned her head only to see the beautiful redhead she was eyeing earlier, and before Maria could process what was going on, the woman gave her a peck on the lips.

“Hey love. I’m sorry I took so long, the bathroom was so crowded.”

After a brief second of the utmost confusion, Maria understands what is happening - and to keep seeing the face Emma was making was more than worth it to continue.

“Not a problem...gorgeous”

If Maria was being completely honest the “gorgeous” just escaped her lips when she saw Natasha up close, but no one needed to know that.

The redhead returns Maria’s gaze, and takes her time looking at her, with the cutest smile on her lips, making Maria feel all warm and fuzzy inside. After a few seconds, Natasha turns to face Emma, who is sizing her up in a not at all discretely manner. She then decides to break the silence:

“Oh, I see you made some friends. Hi, I’m Natasha, her wife.”

“Wife?”

Natasha nods, smiling, looking almost proud of the title.

“Ahn.. Babe, this is Emma, my ex-wife.”

“Oh, nice meeting you, Emma, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Emma completely ignores her as she turns to Maria, enraged:

“We divorced not even a year ago and you’re married?”

Maria shrugs. Emma takes another look at them and smiles mischievously, as if she just figured the whole charade.

“I don’t see a ring on your finger though.”

Natasha laughs, beaming.

“That’s my fault, actually.” Natasha scooches closer to Maria.“I just couldn’t wait to wake up next to her beautiful face everyday any longer, so I did an impromptu proposal on our last trip and since the scenery was so breathtaking we decided to arrange a simple ceremony right there, on the beach. Since we got back we’ve been so busy, uhm… let’s say ‘celebrating’, that we actually forgot about the rings.’ She laughs again. 

Maria was absolutely delighted by the way Natasha implied they didn’t have time to buy rings because they were having copious amounts of sex. She could see a flash of envy on her ex’s eyes.

“Ha. I see. And where was this again?”

“Hawaii, have you ever been?”

Maria was impressed. The redhead answered every single question without hesitation. 

“No, Maria never took me there in five years of marriage.”

“Oh, you should go someday. It truly is amazing and so romantic, you know? You should go with your significant other, definitely.”

“Not dating anyone right now, actually”

“Pitty. I’m sure you’ll find someone…. it takes time for some people.”

“Whatever.”

Natasha ignores Emma and turns to Maria, caressing the brunette’s cheek.

“So, are you ready to go, babe? I remember you promised to feed me lasagna”

Maria smiled. This woman was so… cute? And great? And hot? Her brain was probably not at its best right now.

“Yeah. let’s go”

“You cook now?”

Maria shrugs again, annoying her ex even further.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Emma.”

“Yeah, sure.”

They say their good-byes and Maria leaves with Natasha still holding her hand. Finally outside, she feels Natasha’s hand slowly letting hers go, as she turns to face her.

“Look, I’m sorry” Her eyes focuses on Maria’s. “I know I stepped on several boundaries back there, but I just couldn’t stay idle watching her being such an asshole.”

“No, I should be thanking you. It was priceless seeing her reaction when she thought I was with such a gorgeous woman.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow.

“Gorgeous?”

Suddenly Maria feels very self-aware and by nature starts to overanalyze everything, thinking she made some sort of mistake.

“Gosh, now I’m the one who’s sorry. You don’t even know me and you went out of your way to get me out of an very awkward situation and I repay you with a lousy pick-up line. Thank you again for your help back there. I should… I should let you go now. I mean is there is anything I could do for you to thank you, let me know.”

“There is something you could do, actually, but just if you want to.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“There’s this restaurant I really wanna try, but never found the right company to go with me, you know? So, what do you say?”

Maria is taken by surprise by this, and takes a few seconds to react, prompting Natasha to start explaining:

“If you are uncomfortable, just say the word and I’ll leave. I don't want you to think you owe me anything just for being a half-decent human being. The truth is I had my eyes on you long before your ex came along and I really don’t want you to think this was just me trying to somehow take advantage of you.”

“I can handle myself just fine.”

“I don’t doubt it. Doesn't mean that trying to get a date out of this situation is a nice thing to do. Oh my God this is so awkward. Flirting usually comes so easy.” She says, somewhat frustrated. “I should go.”

Natasha turns but before the redhead has a chance to move, Maria speaks:

“No, wait Natasha!” The redhead turns back. “Is your name really Natasha? I don’t even...”

“Yeah.”

Maria gets closer.

“I had my eyes on you too, as you must’ve noticed, even before you came to my rescue, so to speak.” Her lips break into a shy smile. “So, maybe we could start over?”

Natasha raises her left eyebrow, wondering where this was going, but giving Maria a slight nod to go on.

“Wait here.” Maria tells her, as she goes back to the bar only to get out a couple of seconds later wearing a cowboy hat (???), finding Natasha at the exact same spot she was before looking at her, amused.

“Want a smoke?”

“Sure”

Maria stays still for awhile. “No, actually I don’t smoke so, I should probably have started with something else.” She says, sounding a bit shy trying to laugh it off. This whole situation was so foreign to her - she would never dream in a million years she would be in this position. She usually knows exactly what to do and when to do it, but something about the other woman made her feel so out of place and light at the same time, as if she didn't need to overthink everything. And she was acting so silly because of it. 

But despite her obvious failed attempt, Natasha was smiling at her, and slowly getting closer.

“Gosh you are so adorable.” 

Out of all the things past lovers told Maria was, adorable was never one of them. She was even pretty sure her nickname at the office was “heinous bitch”, and those guys actually liked her.

As Maria was a bit distracted by her inner dialogue, Natasha moves even closer and softly pushes Maria’s hair behind her ears. This was a kill shot, Maria knew it.

“Since everything since we met was upside down, how about we start with a kiss?”

Maria noded. She didn't have a problem with this at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo i so this prompt awhile ago and decided to give it a shot.
> 
> It takes me so long to post I decided to end this FF here :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> xo


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